Dear Starburst or Opal fruits if the postman still thinks your Opal Fruits,

My name is Rochelle Fallon and I am writing in regards to your absolutely wonderful product Starburst. I love Starburst, I really do. They’re all bright and pretty and they certainly do make your mouth water. Unfortunately I’m writing to complain. Recently I purchased a packet of your “Choozers,” and was happily scoffing my way through a large bag when what happened next simply horrified me. I unwrapped my red “Choozer” and was all set for the mouth watering sensation of the Chews that Ooze, when absolutely nothing happened. That’s right good people of Starburst, my Chews didn’t ooze!!! I actually pulled the Choozer out of my mouth to see if it had got stuck or had become hard, but nothing faced me but an empty space of what should have been delicious ooze. Breathe…. Ok I’ve calm down. I’m sorry, it just makes me excited and I can’t even begin to describe the disappointment. I was going to send the contents of the bag but I wanted to send this by email because I thought the postman might sabotage the package because he’d feel them and certainly want to eat them. Anyway I can’t send it you because I ate them all because I love Starburst and I didn’t want to lose them. Anyway I’m just making you aware some of them don’t ooze. (There was another red one that didn’t) It might just be the red ones… I’m sure you good people at Starburst will continue to make really great sweets and I just wanted to make sure you knew. I will still buy them and accept them from people because they’re fab. Only other thing I’d like to moan about, is why are they called starburst now anyway? Opal Fruits was a well better name, and since they don’t all burst…. Well ooze.. I’m just saying. It’s just that it makes me feel old and I’m only 22 and ¾

I wanted to show you how happy I am with Starburst so I wrote you a poem.

I like sweeties they make me smile

Especially starburst they’re not at all vile

Strawberry and Lime

They’re simply divine

If I had my way

I’d eat them all the time.

That’s it. You can keep that if you want and use it for your adverts, with some funky music and some hip hoppers... Something cool like starburst.

Anyway I hope you look into the non-oozing chews issue, and I look forward to a reply with the results of you investigation.

Kind regards

Rochelle Fallon

This one was sent like a year ago and they never got back to me. :(

Ah well...